Who needs a revelation?

I had a talk with my mother about this new revelation that took 6 years to get to. And being the best, supporting & awesome mom that she is, she totally understood. She's been trying to explain things to me for years, I just was not listening. I was trapped in this notion that I was a complete failure, that since I've been failing to get my degree I couldn't do anything right. I looked at my friends who were graduating and I couldn't understand why I was having such I tough time. Why life was kicking the sh*t out of me. I got knocked down by a double-decker bus and steam rolled by a train and I just couldn't get back up. So that's when the lies started, lying to my parents, lying to my friends and worst of all lying to myself. Yes I'm studying, yes I like my degree, yes this and yes that. When in all honesty I didn't know what the f*ck I was doing. You know the saying "Fake it till you make it", well I was not making it. So I started cutting myself off from my friends, I just couldn't be around them. Thinking that they were judging me, thinking they wondering why are they even friends with such a failure. I was getting more and more closed off. Slowly becoming an island. I just couldn't see the things I was good at anymore.

So this is where I am now. I just gotta stop running. 

My Life is a mess

My life is a mess!!! I'm up sh*t creek without a paddle. I'm 25 years old and I have no clue what I'm doing with my life. Actually I have something in mind but I'm way too scared to even try.

Shoo. Now that that is off my chest I can make progress. The first step of solving a problem is admitting you have one.

One thing I love doing, actually completely addicted to, is reading! My poison of choice is Urban Fantasy, Paranormal Romance (those two genres are different, I hate it when people put them together), Contemporary (if the story line is good), Romance, New Adult Fiction and sometimes (like when there's nothing else to read) Young Adult.

I don't always read works of art, you know how sometimes you just feel like eating junk food. It's not good for you and it has no nutritional value at all but you gotta eat it. Some books are just junk food.

OK, I'm blogging... weird.

This year started out very promising. My plan was to study hard, lose a sh*t load of weight and just generally improve myself. It's the end of March, 3 months into the year, and it's already looking bleak!! Where did it go wrong?! So I'm starting this blog to basically chronicle my life or year. This should be... um, interesting, I guess. Well, no one else is going to read it besides me anyway.

Well this blog really doesn't have a 'theme' as such. I'm just going to be posting a bunch of stuff. 

So this is my life... or lack thereof.